Hi friends, it's been a long while between posts. I've really missed writing but inspiration has been severely lacking the past couple of years. Time has been consumed with work and not much of anything else to "spark joy" so to speak. I was hoping to revive the blog last year whilst exploring my new home of Edinburgh, but COVID put a swift end to those plans. I had visions of becoming one of those travel blogging wankers and making you all jealous of my fabulous new life but jokes on me!
2021, despite it not being what I planned, is a year of new possibilities, goals and the year I thought of dipping the toe back into the dating pool. With COVID vaccines on the horizon it seems more of a possibility, plus it's comforting if they turn out to be a weirdo because you can use the safe distance of 1.5m recommendation. It's now two months in and I've downloaded Tinder, Hinge and Bumble. I say downloaded, but what I mean is downloaded, discounted most options, deleted them all, been bored and re-downloaded them. I have completed the cycle about four times now. Each time being more disappointing that the previous. I've discounted most of Toowoomba, Brisbane and don't even get me started on the Gold Coast. I've felt judged by Tinder, it actually lowered my age group and widened my search area because of the amount of options I discounted. I'm not picky, I just want normal, interesting, attractive (I am far from the Mona Lisa but we know what we are attracted to physically so lets not act like it's not important) and someone who likes to do the same stuff in their spare time. I don't think I'm asking for too much?
I'm going to sound really old here, but I miss the days when leaving the house was the only way you would meet someone of the opposite sex, and you actually had to speak to them, like in person (remember that?). You'd go out for a drink with your mates, your phone stayed out of your hands, and people actually took notice of those around them. You'd be at the bar, strike up a conversation, and do that thing that we used to do - talk. There was banter, humour, and connection (or no connection). In my opinion we have done ourselves an injustice with the creation of dating apps. You literally don't have to put in any effort anymore. You can craft whoever you want to be whilst not having to put pants on, nothing good can come of that. You can even be super lazy and not write a bio, just put up six selfies (shirtless ones if you're most guys) and wait. Based on what I have seen of the majority of men's profiles, it actually terrifies me to think what some women must have on theirs.
I am generalising a lot here, I know, not all have been bad. A couple have been quite good - good enough to swipe right. Witty bio's, similar interests, physically attractive but no swipe back so I see no point in continuing the disappointment. This futile exercise has reinforced what I've always thought, that my significant other is not living in this country, or possibly married to someone else at the moment. Basically I'm at the point where if anyone has an interesting lamppost that's free one night for dinner and a wine give it my number. I can't bear to look at another shirtless selfie, a man holding either a caught fish or a pig that's had its throat cut. If you have forgotten some of my previous Tinder experiences, read through the last couple of posts - the material is good, especially the farmer dude, who is still on Tinder by the way. I want to get to know someone organically to find out if we have the same interests and values. I want coffee dates, dinner dates or just home time cooking a meal together in sweat pants (glamorous I am not). I want companionable silence over brunch so I can read a book. I want to travel with someone, experience different cultures and see all the things. I want ambition, passion and I want to argue with them when they don't hang up their bath towel. I'm a romantic but I am also a realist. I am optimistic he exists, but the one thing I know for sure is I don't think he is on an app. I'm done for good with online dating attempts. Finito. Arriverderci. Ciao.
Stay tuned, I'll let you know how the date with the lamppost goes. Hope he doesn't stand me up (pun intended).
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