It's time I was honest and acknowledge something, or someone, I've been lusting over. I'm hesitant to declare this for fear of judgement and backlash on my taste in men. He's semi well known, he's seen every weekday morning by most of Australia. It's not Karl Stefanovic so take that breath you've been holding in - I detest that man.
Back to it people - stay with me here. Who is this man who has captured my heart I hear you ask eagerly. Let me tell you a bit about him. He is funny, talented, unafraid of making a goose of himself in public. He's dashing in an old fashioned way, self-depricating (but not self-loathing), well travelled, sociable, does his bit (and shows his bits - hint hint) for worthy causes. He owns a cat - I read that as too lazy to walk a dog (I hear ya buddy!) and also a gentle natured soul who is content with his own company because we all know cats are aloof and have a couldn't give two effs personality. Just look at a cat next time, they have the best resting bitch face you've ever seen.
He is handsome (well I think so), the right age older than me (yes I have Googled him to try and figure this out - I am not a stalker in real life, just on the internet) and did I mention has a great sense of humour. Basically he's my perfect match in many ways, yes I can make these grand statements without ever having a conversation with him. I am that confident we are well matched.
The big reveal...sit back from the edge of your seats people....drum roll please......it's Sam Mac from Sunrise. I know I know, I hear what you're saying but how can you not adore him! Yes there is a problem, he lives in Sydney, he has no idea who I am and the deep seeded affection I hold for him from 7am - 9am Monday to Friday, and if he did he'd probably have me reported to the Police and slap me with an AVO. FYI I'm not violent - just committed to the cause...seriously, not violent at all. Unless you count my whit, that can cut you deep like a knife to the jugular....yep not violent, I've just been watching too many true crime shows lately. Honestly, trust me *eek eek that's the knife stabby stabby sound like Fatal Attractionesque*. You guys know me, I talk big but I'm tame - I hold doors open for Grannies and shit.
So what should I do? I've made comments via Instagram on things he's posted - he's written back - I take this as a sign he loves me too. People meet via social media these days so there is hope there. Maybe this is how I'll meet my guy, also handy since I don't like to leave my apartment. There are no negatives here, only positives. He's single, I'm single. He's funny, I like to think I'm funny. He'd be about 36ish I think, I'm 34 - practically the perfect age gap. He's of Irish decent, I'm of Italian - they both start with I. He works in TV, I love watching TV. He has Instagram, I have Instagram. Do you see how similar we are! It's mind blowing huh?
Sam Mac, I think we should meet. You'll never read this, and if you do you'll see how right this is, also understand this post is completely in jest, but regardless, call me.
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