Confucius Says...

Hello friends.  It's time to get real.

This morning I was having breakfast along the Brisbane river, just me and my other half...my phone.  I was bored by my own company so I jumped on Tinder to pass the time, flicked a few gents to the right but mostly a lot to the left so I began to let my mind wander.

I began mulling over many things such as how I am going to be single forever, what to do on my days off, but mostly, how I wish my breakfast had toast and how hard it will be to give up gluten but I have to give it a shot to feel better. 

Looking back on the date with Bachelor No.3 - Mr J (Mr Normal) I was wondering how in this age of dating what is needed to secure date number two.  I was sure I'd have a second catch up with Mr J to explore the initial banter but the feeling wasn't mutual - totally misread the results of that interaction!

I guess that illusive spark is key.  The spark is not the same for each person, it can't be. Therefore, in this day and age when dating is so trivial and there is always the next best option just a flick to the right away, it's got to be harder to find that person who feels a mutual attraction. 

After one encounter, what is the barometer to indicate you will be seeing that person again to explore if you really are compatible? The majority of male profiles say that banter, being easy going and 'normal' is what they are looking for above all else. Therefore if you fulfil those three things then will you see them again or do you still need to be a fitness model to secure date number two?  

Deep down are men still only going to be attracted to that stereotypical bimbo who will sit there and not say anything, just look pretty to make all their mates jealous?  I am confused.

Apps such as Tinder are completely superficial to begin with, success is based on appearance initially which is why meeting relatively quickly is important.  They say it takes only 7 seconds to make the right impression after meeting.  That's not a lot of time at all, to achieve a swipe to the right you probably only have about 4 seconds or even less if they can't be bothered to read your bio.  If you can't back up the physical attraction with personality it's not going to go anywhere if you are looking for something deeper than a one night stand.

For me, banter = attraction.  If the conversation (note, not interrogation) is there, if you can make me laugh and are not a dick, then the physical attraction is solidified.

I've been watching last season of Married At First Sight (don't judge me, I'm already ashamed), but the social experiment is fascinating.  All the compatibility tests, personality studies and hormone attraction testing still doesn't guarantee success.  One woman was 53 and never been married.  53!!! Her eggs are way past their sell by date plus she had as much substance in her brain as a wafer biscuit AND even she got matched with someone! How do we everyday singles have a hope in heck of striking the right one when we don't have science experts on speed dial to help a sister out!

Anyway, I guess the gist of this post is I'm feeling disillusioned.  Continuing conversations with a couple of matches at one time is a full time job.  I don't have the energy to weed them out before meeting them - plus - apparently no guy wants a pen pal they want dinner dates and lately I'm working night shifts so that crosses that out when they work during the day.  I'm finding very little tolerance for shift work, they can't be arsed with the chit chat if you can't meet up with them within a day so they unmatch quite quickly. Wankers.

Bachelor No.4 might be a bit further away, sorry folks, but as soon as it does you'll be first to know.  Until then, I'll keep swiping.

Confucius says??