Bachelor No. 1 - Dan Dan The Horticulturist Man

Let me preface this date by stating from the start that Dan was lovely.....

Dan was the first person on Plenty of Fish to message me.  What was his opening line you ask, great question - well done you for faking interest!  Dan's opening line was in response to my profile questionnaire to "What is your ideal first date?".  My answer was "something I can beat you at", Dan's contribution to that statement was suggesting sex. Insert cough, drop phone, and chuckle a little. 

Admittedly, if you looked at Dan's profile pictures this would have been the last thing you would have imagined would come out of his mouth/off his keyboard too.  He's a 33 year old, slightly goofy looking, little bit chubby round the middle bloke.   Kudos for the confidence though mate! 

He's not at all what I would usually find attractive but my dear Mum keeps telling me there is more to finding a partner than muscles and tattoos so I thought I'd give it a go - plus his profile and his opening line did make me laugh.

We spent about two weeks chatting over text messages, covering off on day to day topics, we both had a love of Game of Thrones and both want Florence to win The Bachelor, you know those important topics which will create a real solid foundation for a relationship - yep got those covered!  After some chatting we decided to go for ciders and cheese in the park one Sunday afternoon to watch the sunset and see if we had a spark in person.  

Dan met me at mine with an esky, I made a monumental cheese platter (high-fived myself it looked that bloody delicious) and we set off to Newstead Park to  get comfy on a blanket to watch the sunset (how romantic - wasted sunset in the end but hey, we tried).

It all went beige (bland for those who haven't hear the reference of beige before) after the first cider was cracked. Whilst conversation flowed easily the topic didn't really pass work. Found out that Dan was a horticulturist (FYI apparently that's not the same thing as landscaping, horticulture means dealing with soft-scapes, basically plants, grass and shit) for War Graves.  Cue lots of talk about death, post traumatic stress in veterans, more death, widows, crying, suicide....you get the picture?

Pretty much cut this one once the sun went down and the bugs came out to attack what was left of the cheese.  We walked back to our cars, hugged and exchanged the obligatory "nice to finally meet you" lines and went our separate ways.  No stirring in the loins, no physical attraction and if I had to listen to more death talk again I think I'd dig my own grave (that's a bit insensitive, apologies).  

The next day Dan followed up with a lovely message asking how I thought the date went, and finished it off with a "you're a really lovely girl but I just didn't feel any spark or chemistry", phew! Thank god the feeling was mutual - it definitely was him, not me right?? I'm entertaining aren't I? Anyway, thanks for the ciders Dan, all the best with your search and let us meet Bachelor No.2  aka Glen, the master interrogator.

Setting the scene for romance...